I am writing this post on behalf of all parents who wants their kids to come up in life and to “adjust” themselves with the present society for what it is now.
This is only from my personal experiences and viewpoints and since everyone has their own hard and fast rules based on their own position/status in society, culture, occupation etc. there are likely to be variations in approach.
I sincerely respect it and so you could take this post ONLY as a guideline according to the situation you are in and I strongly request you to customize it according to the needs and current abilities of your kid(s).
I have my first kid who is about 16.5 years and currently in the first year at the senior secondary and I would say he is quite intelligent (I could say this because he recently got more than 80% in 10th (Secondary level) examinations that enabled him to secure the first group (PCMC – Physics, Maths, Chemistry, Computer Science in a reputed school).
But of late, we could notice lot of distractions, change in attitude, treatment of people in general (rebel) etc. probably due to the effects of the “teenage syndrome.”
Our thoughts were further accentuated when this was confirmed by all the teachers from his school who take his subjects during our scheduled meetings with them.
We were thinking hard as to what we could do to help him since we know his present nature is not inborn but is acquired due to peer groups, change in physical and mental composition due to the bodily changes that he is undergoing in this stage of his life etc.
He did realise things are going out of control for reasons unknown to him but couldn’t control it and so we decided to enable him to chalk out his own approach by asking to answer these 5 basic questions honestly and to the best of his abilities:
- Prepare your own timetable that you want to follow in your weekdays.
- Prepare another timetable that you want to follow in your weekends/holidays.
- What are your strengths / strong points?
- What are your weak points?
- What will be your steps to counteract your weak points?
We were really glad that he took up this exercise quite seriously and were really happy with the answers that he had to come up:
|Weekly Schedule||Weekends/Holiday Schedule||Summary|
|05:00||Wake up from bed||06:00||Wake up from bed||Sleep – 6.5 hrs|
|05:15||Morning studies||06:30||Bath + Morning Prayers||School – 8.5 hrs|
|6.15||Bath + Morning Prayers||07:30||Breakfast||Study – 5 hrs|
|07:00||Breakfast||08:00||Morning studies||Play – 1.25 hrs|
|07:15||Start to School||10:00||Play||Others – 2.75 hrs|
|15:45||Back from School||11:30||Lunch + Leisure|
|18:45||Rest||17:00||Evening Prayers||Sleep – 7 hrs|
|19:00||Evening Study||17:30||Play||Study – 9 hrs|
|20:30||Dinner||19:00||Leisure||Play – 3 hrs|
|21:00||Night study||19:30||Evening Study||Others – 5 hrs|
|22:30||Hit the bed||20:30||Dinner|
|23:00||Hit the bed|
|What are your strengths/strong points?|
|Getting marks without studying? VR>How much marks? Is it enough? Are you satisfied?|
|Reading on mobile without straining eyes. VR>Causes long term damage.|
|Understands everything once told. VR>I was told you get easily distracted and so you need to be told the same thing 3 or 4 times to get to you ☹|
|What are your weak points?|
|Getting easily distracted.|
|Disrespectful towards elders.|
|Not on time.|
|What will be your steps to counteract your weak points?|
|Distractions – doing morning and evening prayers properly for gaining concentration and focus.|
|Disrespectful towards elders – Listening before speaking, counting 1 to 10 before reacting.|
|Lazy – Develop will power, Adhering to the timetable properly.|
|Not on time – Adhering to the timetable properly.|
|Arrogant – Respecting elders.|
I prescribed the following guidelines based on his answers:
Steps for Learning
- You have prepared your schedule based on your thoughts and your capabilities. So, it is your conscious duty to adhere to it at any cost for your benefit. No one will remind you to follow your schedule from now on…
- Make sure you involve your activities with full focus on whatever activities that you have specified as per your schedule and not to undertake or deviate yourself in any other activity other than the specified activity during that period.
- Make sure you go through your prescribed textbooks first, then your class notes thoroughly. If things are too concise or difficult to understand, note that particular sub-chapter/sub-heading in your notebook, refer to the supplementary textbooks. Note down the name of that book and the corresponding chapters n page numbers and link it to the corresponding chapter/sub-chapter/section in your prescribed textbook.
- Prepare notes and critical points as you study from these textbooks/notes and not leave everything to the brain/mind to remember the subjects by casual reading. Make sure you spend minimum of the last 5-10 minutes of your study schedule to revise what you have learnt during that session.
- Khan Academy/Any other Online material etc. will be allowed only after if you read these text books, class notes and the corresponding supplementary books and show us that you have a good knowledge and understanding of the subjects. You may use online learning ONLY for reference and reinforcement purposes and not for actual study without reading your text books/note books/supplementary books first.
- You are to consciously track your hours spent on each activity according to what is mentioned as per your schedule and the actual time spent in your notebook on day to day basis to keep track of deviations and to make remedial measures. This is a MUST activity before going to bed at night every day.
Other General Guidelines:
- Talk only when you are asked or required to talk. Do not interfere when others are talking that do not have any direct impact on you. Do not raise your voice too much when you talk.
- Amma (Your mother) is making sure you are getting proper, nutritious and tasty food all the time. So, you do not have to give too much importance to keep on asking what you want for now. We know what to give you, what you want and when you want.
- Stop arguing with senior people, particularly with your parents. This is for your good only!
- You are to be an example for people around you (mainly your younger brothers and sister). So, you have to be that way so that they will not think of you negative any time.
- Spend enough time to read books and watch videos that give positive influence and inspires.
I am sure you can incorporate all these things in your daily schedule, since the guidelines are not that strenuous to follow if you bring it into your habit and think that is for your well-being only!
All the best!!!
P.S: As parents, we can do only as much as that is based on the best of our capabilities, situation and resources according to our predicaments etc. When we can’t expect what is in store for us even for our own future, it would be futile to impose our expectations on our kids. Nature chalks out its own course for everyone and as parents, we can only be facilitators to bring our kid(s) up with some values that they would imbibe in life so they could utilize it to carve out a path for themselves, for better or for worse! And that depends on how we live our own lives…